Raw, Real Jounalling Entry
Writing allows us to get our thoughts out of our head and tidied up.
It always looks different on paper. It is important not to judge the words coming out and to just let them flow.
People often ask how to journal and the thing is, there is no right or wrong way. It is a process and it isn’t meant to be pretty.
Tonight I am going to share with you an excerpt from my journal. It is online and I do usually reccomend that we use pen on paper, however, this paticular day I could only get myself to type.
What I got from journalling that day was a clear idea of what I was noticing about my judgements towards myself, how confused I was and what my concerns were.
From there I moved into forgiveness work.
Nothing is clear cut. There is no right and wrong. There are values, morals and integrity. And when we are living our lives on our terms, it is important for us to make sure that it is us making our decisions on how we will be.
No coach, therapist, friend of partner is responsible for the decisions we make.
Oh and do not think you have to share your journal entries. This is simply something I feel like doing today.
Online Journal Entry
Oh gosh i don’t even know where to start, its like well, where was the beginning. I also don’t want to do this. I would rather keep procrastinating and telling myself why i suck for not journalling. I don’t usually blame the universe for all the things but I want to blame something right now. Not in a dis-empowering way, but more in a seeking to understand why and how its all come at me from every angle possible right now. And for the records universe, NO MORE. I GET IT. Ok. I am doing the ‘work’. I am writing this stuff.
Ok so i suppose i should just write. and see what comes out. fuck spelling, fuck grammar and fuck making sense. yeah so ********* said my posts were full of swear words. Now i am noticing i am trying not to swear so much. maybe he is right. maybe i am a fowl mouthed little shit head. i am embarrassing him. this morning i thought about his mates and how they are not liking anything anymore and i made it mean they are all talking about how horrible i am. i am inconsiderate and rude and it is personal. i think they should quit taking it all personally i am, ffs. This is my life. but, maybe i am wrong.
CONCERN: am i a fowl mouthed potty mouthed embarrassment?
I notice every time I swear now, i want to say sorry. I am unsure if this is helpful or not helpful. If people swear ALOT in a dictating way, I dont like it much. But I never take it personally. Well maybe it triggers me because its dictating and i feel like i can be too bossy.
CONCERN: am i too dictating and bossy. Look at my resting bitch face.
Is it my responsibility to fluff what I am saying so that it is not hurting my family? Or is this hurt around their ego and not even about being considerate?