Clarity,  Connection,  Support

Should I Tell His Wife? How To Make Decisions Involving Other Parties.

Say Sorry!

Over the years I have made my fair share of fuck ups. Selfish moves. As have all humans and over the past 6 months I’ve done alot of thinking around apologies in relation to empathy, forgiveness and intention. 

The ‘trend’ right now is around spiritually evolving and becoming a ‘better’ person and I understand that alot of people are encouraged to right the wrongs. Apologise for behavior. 

As a coach I always bring everything back to taking responsibility and cleaning up mess. I always want to know if involving another party is about you, or about them? Is it taking responsibility and offering something to them, or is it to satisfy your own needs?  

A classic example of this is when a mistress tells the wife saying the wife should know. This is always about the mistress and never about what is right for the wife. Another example of this is if you have cheated, and are wondering if you should ‘fess’ up. 

It is through both soul eyes and ego eyes that I write this piece. It is for those who have some heavy shit weighing on their souls that must be transmuted for the betterment of our society. My perspective is that of transmuting energy and not transferring it. I encourage you to explore the truth. To dig deeper. To do the work. 

Energy never lies. 

I’ve previously blogged around forcing children to apologize when they don’t mean it. I am not a fan. I believe that society has taught us that if we say sorry, then that is acceptable for us to behave that way and then furthermore, they force the other party to accept the forced aplogy! I believe it is a process that goes much deeper. Apologies need to be sincere

First lets look at whether it could be beneficial to apologize, and then we can look at the how and process in the next blog. 



Photo by Tasha Kamrowski on

Determining if an apology is helpful:

Here are some questions to ponder if you feel you need to apologize or tell someone something YOU think they should know. 

1) Who is this for? You or them. Honestly, truly? What is your motivation behind this? What do you have to gain? What has sparked this? Is it to make your life easier? To get it off your chest? What is your core motivator? Whats the pros and cons?

2) Will this bring them ease or will it stir up pain? Is it meant to bring you peace to tick your box of “I tried, I am now good enough?” What is in it for them? Do they want to hear from you? What else is going on in their life? Is not a good time for them? Will they appreciate the apology?

3) Can you truly empathize with the other party? Have you put yourself in their shoes? Have you imagined the damage you may have caused? Does your apology match the pain? 

4) What is your relationship? Is this a relationship that previously was valuable for you both? Are they a family member? Do you actually care or love them? Respect them? Who are they to you and why is it important to you that they know you are sorry? 

5) What is your underlying energy towards them? Do you hold resentments toward them still? Are you still mad at them? Are you at peace with them? Have you done forgiveness work on yourself? 

6) Have you taken radical responsibility? Do you own all of it, 100% of your actions? Do you accept that no one and nothing else is to blame regardless of the situation?

If this is about you:

Don’t do it. Do not drag another person into your healing unless you believe they can heal with you, and would be willing to do so. 

Instead, work on forgiveness of yourself. Work on those whose apologies would be accepted and appreciated. 

If you have empathy & this is for them:

Remember words are just words. Energy is energy and it is the energy of an apology that will determine if it has a good outcome or not. As with everything. 

When we speak from our heart, it is with few words. As you know, hearttruth is one of my core values and our heart, our souls, don’t dabble in thinking and explanations. It speaks with energy. The delivery will always be accepted.

I know this is a really bold statement to make but it is one I have experienced first had, coached people through and hold as a strong belief. People always accept good energy. Even narcissists. Like moths to a flame. 

Remember if you are apologizing, explanations are not needed. Empathy is everything. It has to read I CARE ABOUT YOUR PAIN. It can not be, here is why I did it.

The explanation may only be needed if the other party is willing to have a conversation around the event and if this is a main relationship in your life, I would encourage to seek professional support with the inner work. 

Of course, it does depend on who you are apologizing with. Some people are not willing to forgive full-stop and my recommendation on that would be, work on you and leave them be. They have their path, you have yours. You can not force someone to accept you.

Don’t expect other people to accept your attempt at being a better person. It’s on you. It’s how you react to their response or reaction. It’s how you continue to grow rather than get mad at them for not giving you what you want. 

My next couple of blogs will be around receiving apologies, forgiveness work and being swept up in a mans mess. If you follow me on instagram you would have seen I had some interesting situations in the weekend, which were very tempting. 

Integrity is everything. Energy doesn’t lie. Contact me to apply for coaching if you are looking to improve relationships in your life. You change, things change. It is spiritual law. 

– April B


Through The Dark Support Program

Designed To Bring You:

Clarity | Connection | Courage | Confidence


Our children right now are growing up in the ‘See me, hear me, understand me’ generation. You were raised in the ‘seen not heard’ generation who have taught you that its not possible to have a equal relationship with your children, you must dictate. They have taught us that we didn’t matter as children and that we are spoiling our children and raising a generation of brats.

It IS possible, to BE DEEPLY CONNECTED with your children.

The world needs more parents to stand up and stand for their children whilst being assertive and raising decent human beings. The struggle is real. Too many parents are hiding in their homes wishing and hoping, scrolling instagram while their homes slowly fall apart, their souls are slowly crushed and their children are feeling unstable. Right?

What is stopping you from parenting with more love, more peace and freedom? Why can’t you wake up with energy and love for the school morning? Why can’t you be in a happy loving and trusting relationship AND have confident children? Why can’t you have your freedom to be yourself?

These are questions that you could answer, if you truly want to? During the times leading up to my divorce with my baby daddy, I struggled to find the answers to these questions. To find clarity of who I was, what I wanted and how to stop yelling.

 I was in pain. I was so LONELY! To the point I wanted to write ‘so’ with ten o’s. Soooooooooo Lonely. Anxiety. I so badly wanted to be able to dance when I wanted, sing when I felt it and be PRESENT with my daughter.

I Am Walking Proof

I couldn’t find mums or families who set the example of the person I wanted to be. And yet here I am, living this life with CONFIDENCE, BEING ME.The freedom to travel. The trust in myself. More acceptance in my role as a mum. More empathy. More patience, understanding, fun, intuition. Are these not the things that you desire to have?

Can You Really Have Freedom?

YES YOU CAN have all these things, I am living this life right now. A life where I spend most my days feeling gratitude and love. Days full of connection with deep friendships. Doing work that I adore and that excites me deeply. Feeling in love with my daughter and at peace co-parenting. Knowing that my daughter has more connection with both her parents now than she ever did before. Isn’t that the goal?

Children need you to be yourself. When you know how to be confident within yourself as a empathetic present parent and you have turned up your intuition, you will be that person in your family that can show others how it is a possibility. You will be the key for changing the entire dynamics. You can forgive your parents for the things they did not know, and teach them new ways.

You will find that you start to create again, find hobbies and enjoy life again. To create again. To play with your children. To laugh. To have incredible sex once again. To feel amazing naked. To dance in the mirror. You will start to get back on your true path and begin to accept yourself as a whole. The dark, and the light. Don’t you want this?

Intuitive Approach

I will tap into what it is you most need during our walk together

Practical Framework

I will apply a practical structure around our sessions

Measurable Results

We will measure the results you are achieving from your time with me.

The Power Of Questions

Being Confident To Be Ourselves Is Key

People often underestimate the power of being ourselves. The power of acceptance of our feelings and the consciousness to not behave through our emotions.

People still believe that authoritative “I’m the boss’ parenting is the only way. That being the controller will bring peace and contentment? Yet, it never has.

They believe that they have to live a hard challenging life and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, but who even wants a crumbled cookie?

We all want the same things. To feel empathy, intimacy, safety. To feel accepted and a belonging. FREEDOM!

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Through the dark is a 6 month support program designed by and lead by me after a 2 hour power session, to take you from darkness to light. I will walk beside you whilst you figure out what you want, need and desire. I will be there while you make the moves to get what it is you require. And I will cheer you on every time you get closer to freedom. This program will give you in depth knowledge, strategies and the inner beliefs you need to level up your confidence and parenting skills to create the family dynamics you are proud of. I believe that in natural parenting we have a level of freedom that is second to none! There is another way. You can choose to continue being stuck, or you can choose to make some moves.

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