“How I conceived naturally after 4 years of trying”
When I was 25 my child’s father announced one afternoon that he was ready for us to have a baby. I said ok cool, I will go off the pill in about 6 months and then it should take around 6 months to get pregnant.
2 years later I was lying on my back in the doctors office trying to figure out what was ‘wrong‘ with me. Just relax he says. Ok sure, like that’s a thing. Sorry doc, it’s just that I’m not really that comfortable with how rough you are and having your fist inside me while you talk to my partner about MY body is making me super tense.
6 months later I’m wincing in pain as some blue dye is injected inside my cervix so we can see if my tubes are blocked or not. Not. Nope, still no explanation.
Unexplained infertility. What even is that man. Well basically it means that together with my partner, I was not fertile. Back in the days I would be on the street cast off as baron I would think. I’d have to become a whore to make my bread and butter. I am so broken what good is a woman who can not breed?
And the unexplained part? There is no medical explanation to show why I could not conceive a baby, nor why my partner could not father a baby.
A few months after this, I injected myself with a bunch of stuff to make a bunch of my eggs release so the docs could artificially inseminate me. I had the jab to bring on ovulation and now all we needed was the semen of straw to shove inside my cervix and pray the little spermies would swim and make that baby I so DESPERATELY wanted.
Infertility does not mean you won't conceive.
I remember crying on my way home that morning feeling super quiet and thinking, God is fucking with me. Why did he do that? It’s like he seriously does not want me to have a baby. This is really weird. And so, I gave up. I quite my job because 8 out of 13 of the team were having babies and my team manager was undergoing infertility after 12 months of trying. I couldn’t help but think, oh fuck off! Try 4!
I got healthy. I booked a trip to Thailand and I decided we would do ICSI. One up from IVF. I would give this my all. $10,000 for a baby isn’t bad. We would get rebates. I was going to make this happen.
To seal the deal, I booked a holiday to Thailand for us. I was so excited. I just knew that this IVF was going to work. I even allowed myself to look at baby clothes for the first time in 4 years.
6.5 months pregnant in Thailand.
"I wanted to punch the nurse in the face when she told me alot of people book in for IVF and then get pregnant. Stupid woman, didn't she know that wouldn't be me"
At the end of August 2010, I sat crying on the toilet staring at disbelief at the 4th positive pregnancy test. Jesus, I had acid in the weekend. And how about the eckies the week before. How the fucking fuck am I pregnant? Why the fuck isn’t he answering the phone. Where the hell is he? Oh my God thank God it isn’t a brain tumor.
That next morning I had a blood test organised through my private expensive fertility doctor. The results? Pregnant. Sorry, I won’t be needing IVF after all.
People started to ask me how? HOW did you get pregnant April? After all this time? After the years of acupuncture, health kicks, legs up in the air, special positions? The months I tried no coffee, or eating kiwifruit everyday. The every 2nd day month. The every day month. The once a week months. The nightly hypnosis in my ears. The visualizing. The every damn thing you could imagine months? How? Why now?
“I stopped trying and decided it was happening. I just believed. Also, my partner freaked out something the doctor told us and he declared, out loud, watch this. I’m getting you pregnant.”
𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤, 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚.
If you are looking for support learning how to surrender in life contact me. It's what I do.
Hi you guys, I'm April B
and that, is my daughter Addi.
Sup Party Peeps!
Born and bred in New Zealand where I live with my daughter. A lover of all things spiritual, plants and a good dance. I don’t do surface level and I have the ability to go where no one else goes. I’m not for everyone, yet I may well be for you.
𝗜 work with parents to show them how to connect with their children and find new ways of parenting.
Teach you how to follow your intuition so that you can create happy relationships with your children, break negative relationship patterns and find happiness that you have never found before.
“The world needs more people to stand up and stand for freedom, whilst being assertive and raising decent human beings. The struggle is real.”
About me. Well I’m 50 shades of a human and 10 shades of woowoo. I have a daughter at primary school who took me 4 years to conceive.
I’m almost divorced and proud of that. I’ve done the big house, big business, big penis, big car, big full of shit life thing.
Just saying, there is more to life than big, like how you USE it!