Fuck You To The Man Letters


The letters. You know the ones you write but never give to a person.

That’s what I’m talking about. Writing a letter to someone to tell them of all the ways in which they have angered you. The reason why, well, fuck them!

So how do we move through anger? Hatred? Resentment? We say we are ready to let it go yet our bodies say bullshit and our hands tighten around that rope. We stand at the edge of that bridge and we say ‘Dare me not to jump”. We use the anger to give us power, strength, boundaries. We use it to say, ‘The fuck away from me. Not today arsehole”. We drink and have casual sex treating other people like sacks of meat. We snort drugs to lose our inhibitions. We eat to excess and put our bodies into sugar overload. We use anger to pretend we have it under control.

So what about when we are done with it. When we realise its barricaded us from speaking through love. That we can not be love whilst we are being with anger. Anger is devoid of love. Hatred is devoid of love.

What about when you have chosen to step forward out of the masculinity of anger and inter the femininity of sadness.


We are ready to write that letter. Bye bye anger, hello sadness.

Well. Let me clarify a couple of things first.

  • 1- You will not get to release it all in one go. Sorry. It will take a few goes. And each time gets easier and quicker.
  • 2- It wont look the way you think it should look. Its not pink guys and there are no fuckn unicorns
  • 3- No one will praise you for it
  • 4- It is going to hurt. How much, and how long is up to how much you surrender
  • 5- You will try to distract, run and hide from the feminine sadness when she shows up.

Express what you like how you like, as gangster or pussy as you like. All your feels . Express them.  No one else should bear witness to this. For a few reasons. Energy released is for the universe to transmute it into love. It is not to be weighed on another empaths shoulders. It is not to be spoken of over and over and swam in. It is to be taken from your mind, through your hands and out of your body. Poof.

Please do not use sex, alcohol, food or anything else after this to make yourself feel better. If you are sharing your energy with anyone else directly after this, that is to make yourself feel better. On top of that, that love was for you to give into yourself. Learn to love yourself first.

Youre letter can be to one person or to multiple people. This is not a letter where you write the things they did well, or justify the things they did. This is a purely fuck you letter. This is to pour out the feelings and thoughts you have that align with anger and hate. Vomit it onto that paper. This is not the time to pretend you don’t have these thoughts.


So here’s the rules

  1. There are no rules, the universe is in charge here
  2. Do not control anything. It is about surrender and release
  3. Your eyes only
  4. You make like to pray, or set an intention. “God, please allow me full expression and to guide me to the way that best serves me to release anything that is holding me in a low vibration. Please take the negativity and transmute it into love”
  5. Be alone for at least 2 hours, ideally the night.
  6. Put your phone away
  7. Do not fuse with the story. If you get mad, shake it off, step back, drink some water and go again
  8. Start how you like, but ideally use the most common fuck you phrase in your head. eg: I hate you. I despise you. You make my skin crawl.
  9. Keep it moving, we are expressing thoughts and emotions not the story.
  10. Keep it going until you break down in a soft cry that is coming from the softness of your heart
  11. Allow all the feels to come up to the surface in your body, and then allow them to come out through your hands, your eyes, your breath
  12. Whilst in the soft feminine sadness, acknowledge her. Notice that its been some time since you felt her and know that she is a step higher in the vibration ladder to fulfillment. She is your nurture. She came to emotionally hug you and tell you that she will never leave you.
  13. LET HER IN. Sit with her. Let the hot tears come out of your heart.
  14. Ask your higher beliefs to transmute all the negative energy into love


Once you have allowed the feelings to come up and been acknowledged, you can then proceed in the way you usually would. Be it journaling, meditation, swimming, a shower, exercise. Burning sage and palo santo. Dancing or simply sleeping.

Be prepared to feel a little more vulnerable as you have removed some of the barricades around your heart centre. Stay in your heart. She will protect you, if you only listen.

Much love, and for those who do this work, I admire you. xox

Contact me for customised coaching or to apply to be in my group coaching programs.



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