I Was Fantasising About Fucking The Pool Boy

Are you a  woman doing absolutely everything for the children and your partner, your clients or boss, trying to please everyone around you, yet behind closed doors you’re having major issues in your relationship?

To the point you imagine it’s the pool boy you are fucking when you make time for a quickie? And breaking up is a daily fantasy of yours?

You probably make jokes about this so you don’t have to realise how bad this truly is.

It’s probably keeping you awake at night, the anxiety and feeling like nothing you do is good enough. You probably feeling sick, stressed and like your chest is about to explode and even though you have your 2am text buddy, you don’t feel supported. 

You think over and over horrible thoughts like “Why is he doing this to you? What did you do to deserve this? How can you fix this?”

person lying on bed holding blanket

You’re actually really terrified to do what you know needs doing.

You don’t want to know the truth, because you don’t think you can actually handle it right?

Once you know the truth, you have to do something with it, but how would you and the children survive?
What would everyone think of you?
And worse still, could you cope with seeing him move on with another woman?
Won’t it break the children’s hearts of you leave?

2013 I was feeling exactly the same. Yet I stayed. And I waited until my 3rd breakdown in 2017 which resulted in me crying bucket loads of snot and wanting to die, for me to realise, there HAS to be more to life than this.

I sat in the bath for 2 hours and stewed and stewed. What was it I was missing? What did I need? How the fuck was I going to get through this, I’m DONE.

I realised, it was SUPPORT. I needed to not feel alone. I needed to feel like I had someone on my team. I needed someone to accept me for how I felt and guide me in figuring out my next move.

So I get it you guys. I know it is do or die.

Not only did heal, but I started to understand and learn how to apply the process of unstucking myself. I untangled myself and recorded the entire process.

I am FREE.

I feel empowered. 

I support woman just like you.

I co-parent with ease.

I have fantastic friends.

Im happy you guys.DSC05785

I’m the walking result. I’m the PROOF you have been looking for.

I want that for you too! To the point I cry when I hear yet another lonely woman’s story of abuse & infidelity.

I don’t want you to stay stuck anymore.

Truth be told, supporting people like you brings me immense purpose.

Join my program. I made it for YOU.

IT DOESN’T HAVE TO FEEL THIS BAD.

-April B

XO

💜

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