Well fuck me dead with this one right here.
I am not going to stop. I am not going to keep my thoughts to myself. I am not going to sit in the fucking corner to make the ‘projectors’ stop projecting.
And neither should you.
Lets look at this super quickly. Just what is this, and how does this apply to everyone, and what has it got to do with parenting?
Judgements, Trolling and Gossiping comes when we are feeling dislike towards something external. We pick on someone for not having their child in bed by 7pm, what a bad mum. We talk about how Janet drinks once a month and her poor husband has to have the children all day. We write horrible comments on peoples posts about the things they have shared on their pages.
Tell me, have you ever asked yourself why you do this when you do it? Have you ever gotten to the root cause of your own behavior?
Now let me tell you briefly what it does to other people who are susceptible and vulnerable. Who don’t have a strong enough vision, confidence or belief in themselves. Who have yet to figure out their core values.
It stops them from BEING AUTHENTIC. Which inhibits their freedom and causes them to parent through insecurity and lack.
What does this do for our children? Yup, it shows them to keep quiet. It shows them that we aren’t supposed to be seen heard or understood.
Do you realise this is bullying? Do you realise when we behave like this we are exerting our authority, (of which we have zero over another), on someone else freedom of life? Simply because we can not look away?
There are a few options we have when we are in judgement of another person:
1 – Look away. Unfollow. Distance yourself. Exit the table. Be in control of who and what is in your vicinity.
2 – Really ask yourself what is it about this style of person that is triggering your insecurities. What do you feel. When was the first time you felt like this? Whats the truth? Journal about it. Meditate over it. Find your insecurity and then get the support to work through it. Grow.
3 – Throw shade at them with the attempt to make them feel small and yourself powerful. Try and make them stop. Squash their dreams. Cage their freedom. Keep the world in a state of fear and hate.
Parenting is not easy, we are learning every day. Every day our children present a new phase, a new learning. The last thing mums and dads, aunties and uncles, teachers and grandparents need is someone telling them they are doing it wrong. That their way is inferior to others.
I don’t teach perfect parenting. I don’t show you false connection. I don’t tell you when you yell at your child is wrong. I do not stand in judgement of who I was, the lessons I worked through, the shade I threw. I don’t stand in judgement of yours.
I bring awareness to behaviours and highlight the effect it has on our tamariki.
This is my blog, if you do not find value in watching my journey unfuckingfollow.
And remember, those who gossip to you, will gossip about you.
A fellow human being living imperfectly, showing the way as I go the way.